My blog posts are almost always random. Here’s an example:

I am exhausted.

Tomorrow is Friday, which means I follow my usual end-of-the-work-week regimen staying in my office until around 7, when I start heading over to Myerson Hall. That’s where my church’s weekly large groups happen, and I always forward to them because they are life-giving; it’s a way to wrap up my ugly and exhaustive week of a workload on somewhat of a positive note. But right now it is Thursday at 10:38pm, and I am in bed drafting this blog post oht of  anger and frustration.

Every week at my workplace has its own unique set of issues and irritation, and they never fail to strain and drain me. There is so much emotion wrapped around the words I associate with my workplace, I don’t think they could ever be redeemed even after my departure, which won’t be for another year and a half. At the extremest of my difficulties and stress, I ask myself, “What have I done? What have I done moving here, leaving the comfort of my home? What’s it worth? Why do I try so hard? Why do I keep trying? Why is my effort not being recognized the way I need and want them to be?”

On top of these difficulties I face at work, yes, there are blessings I found here. I believe there are people I’ve met and with whom I’ve developed such deep relationships that make me believe in some sort of meaning... in my purpose... of being here in Philly.

But WHY? Why is life so hard right now, and how can I remedy it? Anything, God - Give me anything to deal w my pain, discomfort, and annoyance. I want solution to my difficulties at work NOW. I want answers my uncertainties NOW.

Anyway,

I am exhausted. I’m going to bed.

Good night,
Pia

(quick) photo diary no.3

Currently: It's 11:25am, and I'm eating carrot sticks and listening to "Don't Break Your Heart" by Savina & Drones at the library. (I don't think food is allowed here, but there's no one around. *Rebellious*)

And view rn:
 
 

I'm going home for the weekend, yay! When was the last the I went home? About . . . ehem, exactly a month ago. I've actually been going home every month this year. There are multiple reasons for this , but it's mainly because → rest. (Actually, and food. Grocery shopping is such a hassle on campus -..- I like bringing food from home, lol.)

After this week, I'm done with all my midterms. (Now awaits the torturous finals season, which is actually not that far away.) I plan to spend my weekend lounging at home, helping my younger sister with her college applications, and binging on Korean food. All in all, I want to make it a short vacation to reset myself from all thoughts and emotions. My journal has been collecting dust on the shelf, so that will be another project - picking up my pen again and geting back on recording my mind on paper.

Goodbye (as I eject my earphone, put on my jacket, and pack my backpack to go to my neuro class),

Priscilla

Here is a very random blog post about abortion

P.S. (Yes, I will start this blog post with a postscript. Or maybe we should call it a prescript?)
I haven't forgotten about my blog. And my only excuse is that I have been busy (. . .). I should be more proactive about blogging. It's therapeutic, and I feel somewhat accomplished and collected after each entry. A lot has been on my mind since school has started, and I hope to slowly gather them into words on this digital paper.

Abortion -
I want to quickly put a disclaimer here that I am not good at debate. I'm coming to a realization that I can be quite conflict avoidant, and getting into arguments - even those intellectual ones - is not my forte. I don't like it when people disagree with me, so I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself. Yes, this is an area I need growth. But that can be another post.

(So back to. . .)
Abortion -
Surfing through my Facebook feed, I came across an illustration of the abortion procedure. I knew abortion meant ending the life of the unborn baby. But actually seeing a visual representation of it kind of freaked me out. If you're like me and you're not too familiar with the process, you can ask Google. (Hint: They tear apart the baby's limbs! Oh my goodness.) This is insane. And I can't imagine how much hurt abortion can cause. Of course, there's the bodily extinction of a life. But there's also the mental state of the mother. Anyway, I felt tingly when I saw the last stage of the process: Only the baby's head remaining in the womb. I then started questioning. . . Does the baby think? When does the baby start to have cognition? Are there neurons developed? When can we say a being is a living being? Is it wrong that I'm addressing it as a baby? Do the world see it as just a fetus? When does a fetus start to sense? Do we sense before we think? (A lot of these are related to neural development. That should be interesting to research.) With this whole debate on abortion - where do I stand? Am I pro-abortion? Or against? From whose perspective, though? If a woman was raped, doesn't she have the right to end the baby's life - the product of the nightmare and sinful act that was committed on her? But is it the baby's fault? The baby has not fault, right? It's the sinner who should be punished? How does God justify this? How are we supposed to pray for this? What does God think about this? How does he feel about this? Doesn't he mourn? Aren't we legalizing murder? Is this moral? Is this what God intends?

I'm just going to leave it at that and end it here
because I don't have any answers.

Tackling Syllabus Week: 4 New Semester To-Do's

Summer is winding down, and I start school in about two weeks (omg). Since I started college couple years ago, I developed some helpful habits to do at the start of every new semester. Not only do these make me feel coordinated and studious at the moment, but they also prevent me, in a way, to not burn out later in the semester. Here are just 5 of those habits to help you start a fresh, new semester:

1. Here's one thing you should do before school / classes start: Get your supplies ready, including your planner. A quick tip before we talk about planners: Get your textbooks after your first day of classes. Some of my professors in the past suggested we invest in the required textbooks, while many others just straightforwardly stated on the first day of class that we won't be needing them. I also took advice from older students who have already taken the class on whether or not getting the required textbook would really be necessary. So you might save yourself a couple tens (or hundreds; textbooks can be so expensive, smh) of bucks if you actually don't end up needing them. But if you do really need them, note that some textbooks are available online in PDF version (often free!). The bookstores at my university tend to overprice the textbooks, so I usually rent mine online through Amazon or Bigwords.com.

Now, let's talk about planners. YOU NEED A PLANNER. There is a variety of planners out there, so just choose one that works for you. (To be honest, this "choosing one planner" usually doesn't work for me; I tend to switch between different planners throughout the year.) Whether it's a generic planner from Target or a customizable Filofax, find one that will keep you sane and organized throughout the year. Trust me, with all the classwork and extracurricular activities boggling your life, you're going to need one.

2. Speaking of keeping sane and organized, let's talk about syllabi. Thoroughly go over them! And transfer all important dates onto your calendar/planner. Remember, friends, your syllabi are your best friends during the school year. (Just kidding, please don't neglect your real friends.) Most likely than not, your professor probably listed all the important deadlines and exam dates on the class syllabus. You're not going to want to miss these! So highlight, underline, star, or put stickers next to them to make them stand out. (Grading system is probably going to be on it too, so make sure to note where the cutoffs for + and - are!) I rarely used my syllabi in high school. But now, as a college student, I find myself constantly checking them throughout the semester. For each class, I keep an electronic copy in my academic folder on my computer desktop and also a paper copy in my everyday binder.

3. Set up a game plan. *Insert Indiana Jones theme song here for inspiration / motivation* If you want that A, you're going to need to make a gameplan. Some questions worth asking yourself during syllabus week:

How is the course constructed? Are there lectures, discussions, and/or labs? How and where will I be graded on? How much are the assignments worth, and how often do I need to turn them in? Am I graded on attendance? Do any of my exams conflict with each other (in terms of date and time)?

For me, among my five to six classes every semester, I always have one hard class that seems almost impossible to get an A in. Now, this is kind of a mid-semester / a-couple-weeks-into-the-semester tip, but if you find yourself struggling in one or two of your classes more than the others, reconstruct your study schedule. For instance: One of my neuroscience psychology classes last semester was only graded on exams. Because I knew that there were only four exams throughout the semester - and sadly, no extra credit whatsoever - I had to hardcore study to get an A. I tuned down the hours I was spending revising notes for my other, relatively easy, classes and spent a couple more hours previewing and reviewing lecture notes for the difficult class. And guess what? I did it! I got a solid A in that course, along with all my other classes. Just remember, you don't need to spend an equal number of hours studying for each of your classes.

4. Go to office hours. I know, talking to professors might seem a little scary. I think this is especially the case if you go to a big university like I do. It takes nerves to go up to the person who regularly speaks in large lecture halls. I don't know about you, but I try to calm and encourage myself by repeating these words every time I'm in a line / make an appointment to speak to the professor: "He/she is also human, just like me. I'm a hard-working student, so it'll be fine." (Wow, I sound really nervous here.) I was really surprised to hear from some of my past professors that they're shocked at how rarely students come up to interact with them. One of my professors even stopped hosting office hours because not many students cared to visit. Going to office hours and introducing yourself to the professor will make you stand out from the start. Of course, this doesn't automatically give you an A. But hey, maybe regular office hours visits could reserve you a future recommendation letter!

These are just 5 tips I have for you all today! I'll be posting more college-related tips and advice, so keep checking mango notes :) Until then, good luck packing and preparing for a new school year!

photo diary no.2

Currently: 8:36pm, listening to Howl's Moving Castle soundtrack, in my room

Joe Hisaishi is brilliant. I wonder what his brain looks like (*ahem, psych major*) when he composes music. And there's also Hayao Miyazaki and his films. Before leaving the library this morning, my sister and I decided to stop by the movies section and pick out some films to binge watch throughout the day. (And this is okay because it's still summer.) Along with two Harry Potter movies, we checked out two of Miyazaki's films: Ponyo and Kiki's Delivery Service.  Ponyo was interesting, but it's probably not a movie I'd watch again. Kiki's Delivery Service was one of my favorite childhood movies, so I was excited to pop that one into the DVD player. I have to say, though, my all time favorite Miyazaki film is Howl's Moving Castle. It's more dramatic and pretty graphic, in my opinion. But the music quality deserves two thumbs up (and five stars), and the love story inevitably sucks you in. (Btw, I don't know anything about anime/manga! I just know a couple of Miyazaki's films.)

Anyway (oops, I skipped introduction),

This diary entry isn't going to be titled "weekly" because, frankly, too many weeks have passed since I last posted one. (And that was my first photo diary. This will the second one, and I'm already lackin'! Oops.) Hmm, this might be a permanent thing - me not being consistent with posting photo diaries on a regular term. So, maybe I'll just omit the weekly part and start calling them "Photo Diaries".

I'll start with the edibles - What have I been eating? (A quick "be aware" note: A lot of these just look the same, smh. My meals really aren't that spectacular. I just like to arrange the food parts so they look somewhat aesthetic and picture-worthy.)

  

A part of why I started (and want to keep up with) these photo diaries is because I want to empty out and cleanse my phone's photo album without forever-deleting all the pictures. (Sad life of a 16BG iPhone owner) I want to share them somewhere, but I don't feel like uploading every single one of them on Instagram. I don't think any of my followers have found my blog yet, but this digital space will be a good platform for me to share my joy of making and snapping my plates! (And yes, that is gochujang in the last two pictures. Sadly, I couldn't find appropriate side dishes to add into my bibimbap, so it was just rice, greens, and my trusty Korean red pepper paste. But hey, it was still really good!)

And here are some things I did these last couple weeks of July:

 

 

 

 

I went to Uniqlo for the first time this month! Before entering, I expected to grab some graphic tees. But after looking around, none of them really appealed to me. So instead, I bought two loose-fitting basic shirts. (I love neutrals and simple, versatile pieces.) I've already washed them a couple of times, and they seem to be fine. The quality isn't the best, but it's reasonably good for their relatively low price.

Looked through my notes from the past semester. Yes, I'm one of those people who spend time and energy perfecting lines and letters to make class notes intricate and aesthetically pleasing. (And I feel a little embarrassed saying this, lol.) Believe it or not, this method actually helps me learn the material better! It appeals to both my eyes and brain.

Other things I did: I went to the library and read some scientific articles, drove downtown Chicago (The last picture is a view of nighttime Chicago from the John Hancock building!), and visited a lapidary museum with the family. My dad always finds weird (and quite banal) museums whenever we go on vacations. But this one was actually cool! I especially loved the gems and crystal displays. Thanks, dad.

I've been dreading the whole summer, waiting for next week (move-in week!) to come. Going back to campus after three months away is so exciting. New classes are starting (EEK, SUCH EXCITEMENT) and I'll see my friends again (EEG, SUCH EXCITEMENT). I'll, hopefully, do another photo diary before I leave for campus next week. It's kind of weird that I'm already halfway done with my undergraduate career. I wonder what I'll be thinking / doing this time next year?