My blog posts are almost always random. Here’s an example:

I am exhausted.

Tomorrow is Friday, which means I follow my usual end-of-the-work-week regimen staying in my office until around 7, when I start heading over to Myerson Hall. That’s where my church’s weekly large groups happen, and I always forward to them because they are life-giving; it’s a way to wrap up my ugly and exhaustive week of a workload on somewhat of a positive note. But right now it is Thursday at 10:38pm, and I am in bed drafting this blog post oht of  anger and frustration.

Every week at my workplace has its own unique set of issues and irritation, and they never fail to strain and drain me. There is so much emotion wrapped around the words I associate with my workplace, I don’t think they could ever be redeemed even after my departure, which won’t be for another year and a half. At the extremest of my difficulties and stress, I ask myself, “What have I done? What have I done moving here, leaving the comfort of my home? What’s it worth? Why do I try so hard? Why do I keep trying? Why is my effort not being recognized the way I need and want them to be?”

On top of these difficulties I face at work, yes, there are blessings I found here. I believe there are people I’ve met and with whom I’ve developed such deep relationships that make me believe in some sort of meaning... in my purpose... of being here in Philly.

But WHY? Why is life so hard right now, and how can I remedy it? Anything, God - Give me anything to deal w my pain, discomfort, and annoyance. I want solution to my difficulties at work NOW. I want answers my uncertainties NOW.

Anyway,

I am exhausted. I’m going to bed.

Good night,
Pia

(quick) photo diary no.3

Currently: It's 11:25am, and I'm eating carrot sticks and listening to "Don't Break Your Heart" by Savina & Drones at the library. (I don't think food is allowed here, but there's no one around. *Rebellious*)

And view rn:
 
 

I'm going home for the weekend, yay! When was the last the I went home? About . . . ehem, exactly a month ago. I've actually been going home every month this year. There are multiple reasons for this , but it's mainly because → rest. (Actually, and food. Grocery shopping is such a hassle on campus -..- I like bringing food from home, lol.)

After this week, I'm done with all my midterms. (Now awaits the torturous finals season, which is actually not that far away.) I plan to spend my weekend lounging at home, helping my younger sister with her college applications, and binging on Korean food. All in all, I want to make it a short vacation to reset myself from all thoughts and emotions. My journal has been collecting dust on the shelf, so that will be another project - picking up my pen again and geting back on recording my mind on paper.

Goodbye (as I eject my earphone, put on my jacket, and pack my backpack to go to my neuro class),

Priscilla

Here is a very random blog post about abortion

P.S. (Yes, I will start this blog post with a postscript. Or maybe we should call it a prescript?)
I haven't forgotten about my blog. And my only excuse is that I have been busy (. . .). I should be more proactive about blogging. It's therapeutic, and I feel somewhat accomplished and collected after each entry. A lot has been on my mind since school has started, and I hope to slowly gather them into words on this digital paper.

Abortion -
I want to quickly put a disclaimer here that I am not good at debate. I'm coming to a realization that I can be quite conflict avoidant, and getting into arguments - even those intellectual ones - is not my forte. I don't like it when people disagree with me, so I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself. Yes, this is an area I need growth. But that can be another post.

(So back to. . .)
Abortion -
Surfing through my Facebook feed, I came across an illustration of the abortion procedure. I knew abortion meant ending the life of the unborn baby. But actually seeing a visual representation of it kind of freaked me out. If you're like me and you're not too familiar with the process, you can ask Google. (Hint: They tear apart the baby's limbs! Oh my goodness.) This is insane. And I can't imagine how much hurt abortion can cause. Of course, there's the bodily extinction of a life. But there's also the mental state of the mother. Anyway, I felt tingly when I saw the last stage of the process: Only the baby's head remaining in the womb. I then started questioning. . . Does the baby think? When does the baby start to have cognition? Are there neurons developed? When can we say a being is a living being? Is it wrong that I'm addressing it as a baby? Do the world see it as just a fetus? When does a fetus start to sense? Do we sense before we think? (A lot of these are related to neural development. That should be interesting to research.) With this whole debate on abortion - where do I stand? Am I pro-abortion? Or against? From whose perspective, though? If a woman was raped, doesn't she have the right to end the baby's life - the product of the nightmare and sinful act that was committed on her? But is it the baby's fault? The baby has not fault, right? It's the sinner who should be punished? How does God justify this? How are we supposed to pray for this? What does God think about this? How does he feel about this? Doesn't he mourn? Aren't we legalizing murder? Is this moral? Is this what God intends?

I'm just going to leave it at that and end it here
because I don't have any answers.

photo diary no.2

Currently: 8:36pm, listening to Howl's Moving Castle soundtrack, in my room

Joe Hisaishi is brilliant. I wonder what his brain looks like (*ahem, psych major*) when he composes music. And there's also Hayao Miyazaki and his films. Before leaving the library this morning, my sister and I decided to stop by the movies section and pick out some films to binge watch throughout the day. (And this is okay because it's still summer.) Along with two Harry Potter movies, we checked out two of Miyazaki's films: Ponyo and Kiki's Delivery Service.  Ponyo was interesting, but it's probably not a movie I'd watch again. Kiki's Delivery Service was one of my favorite childhood movies, so I was excited to pop that one into the DVD player. I have to say, though, my all time favorite Miyazaki film is Howl's Moving Castle. It's more dramatic and pretty graphic, in my opinion. But the music quality deserves two thumbs up (and five stars), and the love story inevitably sucks you in. (Btw, I don't know anything about anime/manga! I just know a couple of Miyazaki's films.)

Anyway (oops, I skipped introduction),

This diary entry isn't going to be titled "weekly" because, frankly, too many weeks have passed since I last posted one. (And that was my first photo diary. This will the second one, and I'm already lackin'! Oops.) Hmm, this might be a permanent thing - me not being consistent with posting photo diaries on a regular term. So, maybe I'll just omit the weekly part and start calling them "Photo Diaries".

I'll start with the edibles - What have I been eating? (A quick "be aware" note: A lot of these just look the same, smh. My meals really aren't that spectacular. I just like to arrange the food parts so they look somewhat aesthetic and picture-worthy.)

  

A part of why I started (and want to keep up with) these photo diaries is because I want to empty out and cleanse my phone's photo album without forever-deleting all the pictures. (Sad life of a 16BG iPhone owner) I want to share them somewhere, but I don't feel like uploading every single one of them on Instagram. I don't think any of my followers have found my blog yet, but this digital space will be a good platform for me to share my joy of making and snapping my plates! (And yes, that is gochujang in the last two pictures. Sadly, I couldn't find appropriate side dishes to add into my bibimbap, so it was just rice, greens, and my trusty Korean red pepper paste. But hey, it was still really good!)

And here are some things I did these last couple weeks of July:

 

 

 

 

I went to Uniqlo for the first time this month! Before entering, I expected to grab some graphic tees. But after looking around, none of them really appealed to me. So instead, I bought two loose-fitting basic shirts. (I love neutrals and simple, versatile pieces.) I've already washed them a couple of times, and they seem to be fine. The quality isn't the best, but it's reasonably good for their relatively low price.

Looked through my notes from the past semester. Yes, I'm one of those people who spend time and energy perfecting lines and letters to make class notes intricate and aesthetically pleasing. (And I feel a little embarrassed saying this, lol.) Believe it or not, this method actually helps me learn the material better! It appeals to both my eyes and brain.

Other things I did: I went to the library and read some scientific articles, drove downtown Chicago (The last picture is a view of nighttime Chicago from the John Hancock building!), and visited a lapidary museum with the family. My dad always finds weird (and quite banal) museums whenever we go on vacations. But this one was actually cool! I especially loved the gems and crystal displays. Thanks, dad.

I've been dreading the whole summer, waiting for next week (move-in week!) to come. Going back to campus after three months away is so exciting. New classes are starting (EEK, SUCH EXCITEMENT) and I'll see my friends again (EEG, SUCH EXCITEMENT). I'll, hopefully, do another photo diary before I leave for campus next week. It's kind of weird that I'm already halfway done with my undergraduate career. I wonder what I'll be thinking / doing this time next year?

weekly photo diary no.1

Currently: 9:04am, in my room, listening to "Callow" by Novo Amor

Last week of June 2016, and it was just another breezy 7 days of summer.
I have about six weeks left of summer now, and that's just really exciting. (I'm listing all the classes I'll be taking this coming fall, and I can't wait! One of them is Psychology & Law, which is a class my school's been offering only in the summer. Really glad they opened up the class for the academic year. Yes, I'll have to drop my beloved online class (Forensic Science) to meet the adequate credit hour limit. But I think it will be worth it.

Anyway,

Here is my (first ever!) weekly photo diary:



Cleaned up my desk. But just this side of it, lol. My shelf area (not pictured because I don't want to scare you off) is really cluttered right now. Sigh, I used to have a full-size shelf, but not anymore. Another reason to be excited to go back to school - I will be living in an apartment with my own room. Yay!



Took some time to prep for GRE. Unlike the undergraduate entrance exams, this standardized test has so many directions I need to understand/keep in mind (especially on the verbal reasoning portion.) I'm limited in my vocab, so I've just been learning and reviewing some of the common GRE words. The quantitative reasoning portion is breezy, and the writing analysis section is actually a pretty simple construction. I don't think I'm fully ready yet, but I'm getting there!



Painted my nails. But erased & clipped them after maybe 3 minutes. I have this thing with polishing nails. It's the act of painting them that I love more than seeing them colored (so I usually go for the neutrals.) I don't know, is it just me? I love trying to get the perfect stroke - it's so satisfying. My nails were long, so I thought I might try a gradient-glittery-pink type of manicure. In the picture it's quite unnoticeable, but oh well.



Started a new bullet journal. I say new because I actually was already using one, lol. But it was a large graph composition notebook, and I was wanting something smaller and more compact - a Moleskine journal. Told myself I'll buy one once I start seeing the end pages of the current bullet journal, but I saw this faux gridline journal at Ross for $3 and couldn't resists buying it. Moleskine journals range around $17 ~ ? The front cover is not real leather, but the inside does its job! The grids are a bit small, but my handwriting fits perfectly in them. I have a problem with choosing a planner/planning system and sticking with it. Tried a lot of thing - from using generic planners from Target, relying on OneNote as my planner, and even purchasing a Filofax (I know, a lot of moms use this, lol). Hopefully, I'll use this planner journal longterm. 

Other things I did this past week:

 

On July 4th, I took a walk around a lake (?) with my family. It was so tiring, and I was sweating in my jeans. Grandma told me it was going to be cold and that I should wear long sleeves. I regretted my apparel choice the whole day.



Car rides. It's post-wisdom tooth extraction, and I'm now a free animal on the road. Just kidding, but really. I stayed in bed for a day or two, and it was actually really nice. (Well, except the acid reflux part. If you're taking medications, still eat regularly! I changed my meal schedule based on my medicine intake, and it was a bad idea. I woke up one morning with unbearable pain under the chest area, and I thought I was dying.) I'm a home-y (and a homie), so I like to stay indoor and curled up in a blanket. While I'm home for the summer, that's all I really want to do. (At least, before I get back to my busy life once I get back on campus and classes start.)

Things I ate:

 

Went to Joy Yee, and oh how my taste buds danced with gaiety

 

My family restocked on fruits, so that's really good. Not pictured here, but I had a bowl of banana slices, blueberries, and chopped mango pieces. Fruits are friends

 

We also had fishcakes for one of our meals. It was earlier in the week, and I don't know why but my jaw and throat were sore and hurting. (Maybe that's one of the symptoms of tooth removal? I hope nothing was wrong.) So I couldn't eat much, but it was still good *two thumbs up*

etc - a game I've been playing: Happy Sandwich Cafe

  

Every summer, I find games to binge on. And once school starts, I just delete them, lol. The pictures are kind of self-explanatory - you design your own sandwiches and sell them to the townspeople. I'm not that creative, so I usually just name my sandwiches after what I put in them. (Tuhamo is tuna + hamo, lol.)

 

You're also prompted to complete quests (or missions? They call them missions, not quests) and buy new ingredients for your sandwiches.

Typing this all out, it sounds like a stupid game. The game is really just a free time passer,  and it's likely that I'll delete it soon. But if you're looking for a simple game, check this one out! It's quite cute.


That's it for my first weekly photo diary :) It's already 9:38am, and I should probably get on that GRE practice test. Strangers and friends, I hope you are having a great, restful summer!